


Trust

by depthsofmysol, WinterxGhost



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I'll add more tags as we go and as they apply, Idk if there'll be sex or not in it, It'll start off small, James "Bucky" Barnes - Freeform, M/M, Post-CA:TWS, any sex stuff is probably way later, but our posts keep getting bigger per post Lol, lol what are tags, possibly a long-term one depending on how long we RP this, rp-fic, so I just rated it accordingly for the 'just-in-case', steve rogers - Freeform, the points of view flip flop from Steve to Bucky because it's a fic based on our RP, this is gonna be a long-ass story, we've both wanted to continue this monster out for a long time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 00:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depthsofmysol/pseuds/depthsofmysol, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterxGhost/pseuds/WinterxGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [depthsofmysol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/depthsofmysol/gifts).



> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3
> 
> The post was started by a meme prompt I believe with an icon the image used is [here](http://media.tumblr.com/a650b71936982152cf258da6fbbe9a37/tumblr_inline_n8cv2aPs8x1scj6vj.png)  
> I think for the first chapter I'm going to do some of the smaller posts combined into one chapter with a line separating the POV switches. Later chapters get long enough that I think they can be their own chapter.

”I wouldn’t do that if I were you…”

_________________________________

James raised an eyebrow slowly as he looked up from the TV that was doubling as a monitor for the computer he was typing away at. Up on the screen was classified documents, mostly of SHIELD’s but others as well. He was in the middle of copying them to an external hard drive when Steve interrupted. He wasn’t ever sure how Steve would take this type of behavior from him but he was tracking down a lead and needed classified resources. “Or else what?” he murmured with a curl of venom in his words.

_________________________________

His eyes flickered to the screen, looking at the files that popped up. Most of them he’d seen only glimpses of, but others? Steve had never seen them before and wasn’t even certain where they’d come from. And how Bucky knew just where to find them. “Technically? I shouldn’t even let you continue,” he said, stepping up to the other man, his eyes still focused on the screen. Whatever Bucky had planned it was buried in the files in front of him and maybe if he could find the pattern he could figure out just where he was planning on going. And what he was planning on doing. “Tell me what you’re looking for and maybe I can help you out.”

_________________________________

James watched the super soldier warily when he drew closer. The sniper visibly tensing in preparation for any sort of reaction, he knew how noble the blond could be at times and didn’t know if this would be one of those moments. The reply he received made him all the more concerned for the success of his self-made mission. Instinctively he half-stood, placing himself between the monitor television and computer and Steve’s large frame, as if that would prevent the other man from watching what he was doing.

"How do I know you won’t just drag me in and stick me in a holding cell once you’re finished interrogating me? This is classified data Steve, I know you know I shouldn’t be looking at it…let alone acquiring it.." he hedged carefully yet trying desperately to cut off any room for coercion. He knew it was hard to resist that blond’s friendly demeanor when he pushed it on someone to get information. Something as sweet as trying to be a good buddy, a confidant, could be an internalized ploy to get information from Steve’s target.

Maybe he was wrong, but James had spent many decades making a career of being careful and hidden in the dark. He couldn’t afford to be shoddy now, not when he was so delicately entwined in SHIELD’s information. “I’m tracking down a lead,” he answered simply, piercing eyes watching the other man for any sign of plotting and trickery. His body still carefully placed between Steve and the equipment behind him to prevent any sabotage.

__________________________________

"You don’t, Buck," he pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest. Steve had stopped his movements, having seen his best friend visibly tense at the very idea of the two of them being closer than a few feet apart. "You don’t know if I won’t just drag your ass back to base and let them have at you. But my best friend? The man I knew? He knew that I’d watch his back, that I wouldn’t just turn him over." And all of that was the truth. He wouldn’t have dared allowed his best friend to be turned over to an organisation that had burned him, branded him a traitor to his own country before profusely apologizing to him. He was still leery about working with them again; especially after what they did to him. But some things just couldn’t be avoided.

This wasn’t one of those things, though. What little he saw of the screen was enough to tell him that the information was classified, and shouldn’t be sitting there for them both to read. So why? What was he doing that required that sort of information? “So we both know you shouldn’t have it, and yet you do,” he said, sighing out of frustration. Steve wasn’t going to say anything about what was currently going on between them. It would be a secret between them; one of many most likely. But it didn’t explain just why Bucky had classified data and what he was planning on doing with it. If he could get a better look he could probably figure it out. But getting that closer look would only end up making things worse.

"That’s all you’re going to give me," he asked, his eyes still flickering between the screen and his friend. Steve had decided to stay his ground and not move any closer. Even if moving closer would give him a better view of the information on the screen. "I guess old habits really do die hard. You don’t want to tell me, fine. But you can’t just expect me to sit here while you’re digging around classified data and pretend I haven’t seen a damn thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted up on the big screen these posts aren't looking all that large lol, but later chapters are getting bigger so I figured I'd stop here and start sectioning them out now. 
> 
> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3
> 
> The post was started by a meme prompt I believe with an icon the image used is [here](http://media.tumblr.com/a650b71936982152cf258da6fbbe9a37/tumblr_inline_n8cv2aPs8x1scj6vj.png)  
> I think for the first chapter I'm going to do some of the smaller posts combined into one chapter with a line separating the POV switches. Later chapters get long enough that I think they can be their own chapter.

_Bucky's POV:_

Blue eyes narrowed suspiciously at the large frame barring his main field of vision. Normally he wasn’t intimidated by his friend, even with the larger body, but right now he wasn’t so sure. He’d seen what Steve could do in the heat of battle with it and didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that determination to be put down. He frowned at the insinuation of what he ought to do, but the example of what he most likely would do burned through James with an odd sort of shame. He couldn’t help his suspicion, especially with something so delicate. He hated that he’d suspected Steve of ill-will towards him but he didn’t know the man’s new-found ethics on the matter of such technology and intel gathering in the time they’d spent apart.

What he was conducting with SHIELD’s intel was a bit of at-home spy work on a multi-millionaire industry owner for machine manufacturing. The man had recently begun leaving a dirty trail behind and one that James sensed was wrong and out of the norm. Little red flags began popping up in his mind about this fellow after hearing him on the news and stock exchange of becoming not just the multi-millionaire status he’d already possessed, but lately he’d graduated into the multi-billionaire category. The man’s stocks were out the roof and it stank of laundering. The man kept a clean trail to the public’s scrutiny though, but James knew otherwise.

He didn’t like the way Steve’s eyes kept glancing to the screen and back and half of him wanted to close the laptop’s cover. He knew if he did the damn thing would shut off and he’d lose all his hard work at mousing into the histories of this man and his accomplices that had taken him the better part of the day and the night before and day prior to find, hence the dark circles forming under his eyes. He didn’t keep paper notes for something like this, something he had to be completely dark about lest someone find him, like what Steve had done just so. He had been surprised the by the blond’s presence which spoke worlds about his fatigue and mental cognition if he wasn’t aware of his surroundings enough that Steve had walked in on him.

But ahhh, there was that damn stubborn streak of Steve’s rearing its head again. The blond super soldier didn’t appear to want to back down to James’ actions right now, and James didn’t want to stop researching, even though physically he really needed to….like yesterday. His tired state of mind made him frown almost grumpily if it wasn’t for the defensive posture he still had. “I…I don’t know if telling you would be for better or worse Steve,” he stated simply, not very eloquent in way of wit but he was tired damnit, he didn’t give a Serbian rat’s ass if he even spoke English at this point.

He did however add a bit more to the information he’d already provided, “I’m using SHIELD’s databases to track someone down that I suspect to be involved in something big.” He wasn’t very helpful with that much information either, but in the best way to put it ‘long story short’ that’s essentially what he was doing and felt Steve could know at least that much. Nevermind the ethics or morals or laws being broken of spying on someone’s private and personal information, bank account information, family history, medical background, all sorts of things people never realized the organization had access to that James was perusing as easily as a clothing catalog. If James nailed this guy, and he was doing what the sniper suspected him of doing, then he’d be stopping a weed before it had grown into a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Steve's POV:_

Threats weren't him. Threats weren't something he normally used against someone he once considered friend. But his friends normally didn’t go looking through highly classified documents. Well, most of them other than Stark and everyone knew that he did whatever he wanted anyways. Steve never would have expected this from Bucky. Even if they barely knew each other after everything that had happened, he had always thought that his friend, his  _best_  friend wouldn’t have gone so far as to hide something from him. Things had changed. Things had changed to the point that he couldn’t honestly recognize either one of them. And maybe that should have bothered him. Maybe he should be concerned that neither one of them were the boys from Brooklyn they once were. The only problem was that it didn’t. What should have bothered him didn’t and now he wondered just what else about the other had changed to the point of being unrecognizable.

Steve knew he could spend hours looking at Bucky, trying to pick apart just what was from the old days and what wasn’t. All of this secretiveness was definitely something new. Or maybe something he’d picked up from his days as the Soldier. Natasha had told him that the Soldier was nothing more than a myth and watching the man work he could see just how successful he’d been. But it still didn’t explain why he had assumed he would just turn him over to the authorities. This was someone who had been his best friend, someone who had taken care of him when he was sick. To turn him over to the authorities would be to betray everything that their friendship had once been. And if Bucky knew anything about him he would know that he couldn’t just betray a man. Not when that man was someone who had been a large part of his life, a man who still was a part of his life.

And yet they still stood there, like two animals waiting to see which one would attack first. Of course his eyes continued to flicker between the screens and Bucky. Something about this whole situation didn’t sit right with him. It was more than just the files that were currently sitting on the screen, more than the fact that they were classified and neither one of them should be reading them over. If he could only put his finger on it… What was even worse was just how much this reminded him of SHIELD; the one one, the one that had been infiltrated by HYDRA, the one that he’d given his life to work for yet again. Secrets tended to lead to nothing good. Secrets tended to do more harm than they were worth. And secrets tended to get people killed. He wouldn’t think about just how many people had died thanks to the secrets that were held within those walls. All that mattered to him was finding out just what Bucky was up to and how he could help.

"I think we’ve moved past whether or not telling me is a good idea or not, Buck," he pointed out, sighing out of frustration. If this was the new game between them he would rather put an end to it now instead of seeing just where it would take them. Steve had played far too many games during his time at SHIELD, had been Nick’s lap dog for far too long. And he was done with it. "And I think we  _both_  know that, as well. But you’re so used to your damn secrets and you seem to think I still need protecting. As much as I appreciate it I can watch out for myself now.” He hated the tone his voice took, the one that was dripping with annoyance and frustration. They weren’t kids any more and neither of them really needed to watch out for the other. He knew that it was ingrained into both of them – to protect each other, to make certain neither got into too much trouble. And he knew that Bucky would always watch over him thanks to their childhood.

Sighing once again out of frustration, he ran his hands up and over his face and through his hair. While it was more information than he’d been given previous it wasn’t enough to abate his curiosity. Steve should have known that getting anything more than basics was going to be like getting information out of Stark – damn near impossible. “And is this someone you’re going after someone we should be worried about,” he asked in an attempt to pull more information from Bucky. And by ‘we’ he meant the rest of his team. He wasn’t a fan of doing this under the radar. It reminded him far too much of the days when he worked with SHIELD. “Or is it something that can be handled with just the two of us. And yes, I’m not about to let you handle this on your own so don’t even think about it.” Again he would put his foot down. If Bucky thought he was going to let him do this without any sort of back up the man was going to be in for quite the surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Bucky's POV:_

He could tell Steve was growing agitated with him, with the secrecy, and what he was currently doing. His time spent as the Winter Soldier had burned this reclusive, wary ghost into him that made him want to hide away, hide what he was doing or  _else_. It burned him further to see the disappointment reflecting in Steve’s eyes, he didn’t like withholding information from him, but… but..

He chewed on his bottom lip, a habit he’d never dropped in all these years, and one that had little tiny scars on his lower lip formed, like slight wrinkles in fabric when disturbed, when his lips were dry and cracked. His constant nibbling though usually kept them fairly moisturized. He edged himself slightly further between the screen and Steve’s gaze, seeing those baby blues continuing to flick to it. He felt like a damn deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming semi and there was nowhere he could dodge to. Mission protocol was if the information was compromised, destroy it. But…this was different, wasn’t it? Could he leave this information on the screen up for every second longer Steve could see it? He trusted him didn’t he? But the information! But!

He warred internally with himself: with old procedure instructions, with old memories and feelings roiling around like the Cyclone from Coney Island. Outwardly all that showed was him gritting his teeth and the muscle upraising from the tightening in his jaw. He had so much ammunition he could use as a comeback to Steve being able to take care of himself now, but he knew if he opened his mouth to snipe out the words, he’d regret it. It would come out more harsh than sour. He kept his mouth shut for now, even as Steve sighed through another lungful of air. James knew he was trying to goad more information out of him, and part of him ached that he’d withheld it from the blond to begin with. Chewing his lip again in contemplation he finally answered. “Technically only one person skilled enough can deal with it, but since it seems like you’re going to be my chaperon whether I approve or not, just the two of us should suffice.” 

James also had a hot head and was cocky, both were faults that had often times wound him up being caught in traps, captured and worse. But the less people involved in this secrecy the better it would sit with his comfort level. He didn’t trust all of the Avengers just yet, and that many people he felt would blunder it up. He had to be cautious with this case or else the billionaire would catch wind of it too early and disappear. “To answer your question, if this guy succeeds in what he’s doing, it could very well prove dangerous, and something we would be worried about.” He frowned a little at the taller blond, studying and scrutinizing him for a moment longer before his jaw twitched and he stepped to the side to let Steve see the screen uninhibited. 

On it was multiple windows opened, many of which had long paragraphs of information, one had a professional “mugshot” of the billionaire in question, and to the right was a few windows, one having his bank records, another with a stock market graph of the man’s assets, among other information. He half-turned to study the screen as well and gave a long-winded sigh, one that spoke his frustration with this, and also his weariness. Giving a sideways glance at Steve he began explaining the information.

"This CEO guy of some computers and manufacturing hardware company, Gregorio Praldorf is his name, he’s been in the news lately with some pretty sketchy increases in his sales. His tech is absolute shit and everyone generally knows this yet, somehow his sales are reported to be rising dramatically. This guy is racking in money and yet why would he be when his product designs are inferior to other companies?" He questioned out loud though it was rhetorical.

Leaning his weight against the desk briefly he crossed his arms and looked at Steve with a cocked eyebrow. “So I start getting curious, because this guy knows a few other big-wigs in the market and I know this guy is getting his money from somewhere. His name keeps cropping up in the weirdest places he normally hasn’t ever been in. He’s no doubt falsifying his product sales claims, he’s got 6 bank accounts scattered around the world, he’s got to be either selling something else that we don’t know about or actually money laundering, or he’s…I don’t know…somehow getting his sales to actually go up, which isn’t the case. I  _know_  he isn’t selling more shit to other countries, not the same shit he’s  _been_  selling anyway. His warehouses haven’t been getting in more orders for product so that  _can’t_  be the reason.”

He shook his head and picked up the mouse and clicked up a window showing a satellite photo of the main factory of the man’s business. Facing the super soldier he planted his hip against the table and again crossed his arms.

"There’s so much going on in this case Steve, I think this guy actually has his hands on something that he really shouldn’t be and he’s been selling it to the highest bidder. I just hope what he’s selling isn’t what I think it is, and I hope you-know-who isn’t involved." He grimaced a little at the thought but waited to hear Steve’s thoughts on the matter since it seemed he was being forced to include the blond on the investigation. Heaving himself away from the counter he paused to exhale another gusty lungful of air and moved his arms up above his head in a languid stretch full of popping vertebrae and protesting muscle. Grunting in sheer pleasure of the act of moving once more, he’d been sitting and stooping longer than he realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Steve's POV:_

They all had secrets. All of them. Himself included. Steve knew his secrets were safely locked away, that they were buried beneath everything else so that he didn’t have to deal with them. He also knew that one day they would most likely come back to haunt him but it was safer for him and everyone else that they were buried deep and not allowed to see the light of day. But whatever secrets he had were nothing compared to Bucky. He stood there, lying to him as if he was no one, as if they hadn’t grown up together and could tell when the other was keeping something. They had always been there for each other, had always helped when the other needed it and to see all of this happening? It wasn’t hurt that filled him; it was disappointment. After everything that had happened he still felt the need to keep something from him. Maybe he should just give up trying to figure out just what it was.

He watched the other, thinking maybe he was right, that he should just leave him to his mission and hope the idiot didn’t get himself killed. Even though he could see bits and pieces of the information on the screen his eyes were dragged back to Bucky by the motion he hadn’t seen since they were kids. Steve remembered Bucky constantly chewing on his bottom lip as kids, something he did when they’d joined up the army and something he’d missed after the fall. He’d missed a lot about the other but it was the little things that stood out the most to him. It didn’t change the fact that there was information on the screen, that he was constantly trying to hide it from him, and that he would prefer doing this on his own instead of asking him for help. If anything it made the situation worse. And it had him feeling useless. At least with his team he knew what he could do to help. With Bucky? He was left in the dark. And he hated it.

"I’m not – " he started to say before stopping himself. Steve was frustrated, he was irritated but wasn’t about to allow Bucky to see that. Or at least not see more of it than he already had. After a few moments he knew he was calm enough to actually talk to the other without wanting to deck him. "I’m not your damn chaperone, Buck. I’ve never been that and you  _know_  that. But you seem so bullheaded that you don’t need my help to do whatever it is you’re planning on doing.” His frustration was clearly evident in his words and he hated himself for allowing his ire to get the better of him. But what else was he supposed to do? They used to trust each other implicitly. They used to be able to count on the other to have their backs. All of that had changed once HYDRA got a hold of him but even now he thought that he’d proven himself to the point he could be trusted. Flickering his eyes to the screen he was reminded just how much things had changed between them.

At least it seemed like Bucky was willing to accept his help. He may have been able to do it on his own but Steve knew that a team would have a higher likelihood of success. Of course after everything that had just happened bringing it up to his team was out of the question. This was something they were going to have to do together. As a pair. And hope that the others didn’t catch wind of just what they were doing. “And just  _what_  is this guy planning on doing,” he asked, the question something he knew would either give him the answer he was looking for or serve to frustrate Bucky even more. It took a few moments and he knew that the other was trying to figure out if he could be trusted or not but eventually he watched as the other stepped aside. Taking a few steps closer, he scanned the screen and picked up some details he had only seen briefly previously.

His eyes were still focused on the screen as he listened to Bucky explain just what they were about to do. As the story continued to unfold, Steve couldn’t help but think HYDRA or whatever was left of HYDRA was involved in this. Even though they’d destroyed a good portion of their infrastructure in D.C. there was still enough of it left that they could start all over again. And what better cover than a tech company. Especially one that no one would dare look at. At least no one that really mattered. But what if it was just that? What if it was just someone who’d found a way to sell his product without making it known to the public? It made no sense to him and it explained why Bucky felt the need to look into it. If this Praldorf character got his hands on alien technology or something worse, he was right. It would make their lives hell. More so than Loki’s attack had ever made it.

"You think he got his hands on technology that was kept at former SHIELD facilities," he said matter-of-factly, his eyes still focused on the screen. The satellite image in front of him didn’t tell him much. If they were going to figure out what was going on they would need more images; images that he knew Stark could give him should he actually ask. Except Steve wouldn’t. He wouldn’t go to Tony Stark because that would mean explaining just what he and Bucky were actually doing. Instead they would use what information Bucky had in front of them to figure out just what this character was doing. "If that’s the case we’re going to need more people than just the two of us," he added, sighing out of frustration as he ran a tired hand through his hair. Technically the two of them could pull it off. But it would involve a lot of pain. And most likely one or both of them getting seriously injured. But this was how Bucky wanted it and he wouldn’t push the issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Bucky's POV:_

As he explained James had observed the varying degrees of emotion running through Rogers’ face. Disappointment was indeed evident among the top choices and somewhere inside it burned Bucky with an embarrassing shame. He knew he could trust Steve, knew it in his gut and in his heart, but his programming from his Winter Soldier days was drilled so deeply into him, it was hard to ignore, even in the face of someone he cared about the most. It was something he was still working through, just as he had in working through any missing parts in his memories, some of which he was still missing.

He winced a little at the tone of voice Steve was tightly trying to control and thus had accepted the act of informing him of his research. “I’ll give you a free pass to hit me if you want to,” he muttered to him lowly as he watched him gazing over the screen. “I know I seem like a dick right now and I apologize for that, I just.. I guess I’m still trained to be wary with sensitive information..” He scratched at his metal arm idly, the limb having a phantom sensation of itching, likely some nervous tick or aftermath of sensation to the nerves connecting inside the arm to his body. 

"It’s not that I don’t want your help Stevie, I just.. I dunno, I get a nervous feelin’ in my gut when you’re involved in somethin’ dangerous like this. I just don’t want you gettin’ hurt, and yeah yeah you can take care of yourself big guy and all, but still.. I can’t really shake that feelin’ after all these decades ya know?" He scratched his unevenly-chewed thumbnail on the wood of the counter hesitantly.

"You were one of the only things remaining in my head when Hydra was torturing’ me to turn me into the Winter Soldier. Every time they’d finish electrocutin’ me, or druggin’ me up they’d ask who was I? What your name was, all that. And when I answered them the way they didn’t want to hear, they’d shock me again and again. Eventually your name and face got buried so deep in my head they got the answers they wanted when I couldn’t remember your name." He grimaced a little, his voice was low and his eyes downcast a little. He’d probably already spoken all this to Steve before, he couldn’t remember things in order very well these days. Hell, sometimes he had to ask Steve what his own name was from time to time. Thankfully the taller blond never made him feel like an idiot, or a simpleton when he did ask. He was always patient with him and understood probably without Bucky even needing to explain much. 

"I guess what I’m tryna’ say is that, because you’re one of the few things I remembered up until the end of Bucky, and before Winter, I just…I don’t want to lose you again, ya know? I don’t want to see you gettin’ hurt and taken away from me again, dunno if I could bear it again.." he frowned a little and looked sideways at the monitor bearing the face of Gregorio. He looked at Steve’s face with his matter-of-fact statement and he bobbed his head a little. "More than that I s’pose," He straightened up from his drooping slouch that he’d fallen into from his monologue. 

"It’s more than just technology Steve, more like  _bio_ technology,” he let that sink in for a beat of silence before continuing. “I’m willing to bet the farm that they not only found SHIELD’s old technology, but moreso that they found the old samples of your blood that SHIELD collected when you were turned into a super soldier. And I’m willing to bet HYDRA is either behind the efforts of this, or Gregorio is selling to the highest bidder. Could be HYDRA, could be the old Soviets banding together, could be anyone. And if this Gregorio fuck is in anyway smart about it, he’ll sell them a bastardized version of it, kinda like what I’ve got inside me. That way he never sells them the full pure version, that way they keep wanting more, and he keeps makin’ money well into his retirement.” 

His metal hand reached up to tap a silvery finger against the counter near the keyboard, “Problem is, this clown ain’t gonna be doing it in an obvious location. This facility here, likely is just his cover-up business’ main locale. He’s gotta be meetin’ these fuckers somewhere secret and finding that little hiding place is the hard part. And then the next question is, do we go in guns blazin’ or do we sneak in and gather intel? Corrupt them from the inside? And this is just my hunch Steve, but that’s all I could fathom he’d want. All the SHIELD tech is replicated fairly decently by HYDRA. The only thing dangerous and expensive enough, moreso than any helicarrier, is your blood, or at least a sample of it.” He supposed he could thank his luck stars they hadn’t captured Steve yet and drained him dry of blood, though they’d be stupid to kill the goose that laid the golden eggs, or at least that was the theory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Steve's POV:_

He knew the man from his childhood no longer existed, that the man currently standing in front of him was as close as he would ever get to seeing Bucky. In the past they wouldn’t have had secrets, they wouldn’t have kept things from each other. But that was the past and Steve knew that in the present they each had their secrets, they each had a weight on their shoulders that none other could bear. As much as he hated the secrets, as painful as they were, as painful as it was to even  _know_  there were things Bucky kept from him, he had no real room to talk as he kept his own secrets. Those his were more along the line of the stupid things he’d done since they’d woken him up, things he knew Bucky could find if he actually wanted to. The fact he hadn’t brought them up yet meant he hadn’t found them or he hadn’t cared to know just what he’d been up to in the three years he’d been awake in the new world.

"Don’t tempt me, Bucky," he told him, his words still clipped in tone as he was trying to keep his own frustrations in check. Steve understood to a degree why he was doing what he was. He may not have liked it but he understood and the offer of clocking his best friend was actually tempting. It might actually take some of the frustration he was feeling out of him. "Seem? No, you don’t just _seem_  to be a dick you  _are_  one. I get that you need to be wary but have you forgotten that this is  _me_ we’re talking about? Someone who has trusted you with their life?” Somewhere in there Bucky had to remember just how much he trusted him, how he would have given his life for him if that was what it took. Shutting him out like this wasn’t something either one of them did. Or maybe it was now. Maybe Bucky would prefer to keep him out instead of letting him help.

Either way, he’d seen far too much to just walk away. If Bucky wasn’t going to let him in, if his best friend didn’t trust him enough to let him help, there was nothing else he could do. Other than follow him and help where he could. “Bucky,” he said, sighing out in frustration. Of course that would be the reason. He still saw him as that sickly kid from Brooklyn and not the man he was currently. “I appreciate the fact you still feel the need to protect me. But I can handle myself. I’m more than capable of handling myself in a fight.” Steve knew he didn’t need Bucky to protect him, to pick up the bullies and beat them for him any longer. He could actually handle any bully who came his way. But how to get that through to the other? How could he show him that he was more than capable? DC had probably shown him that if anything he could use someone to watch his back when it came to fighting someone familiar.

"You’re not going to lose me, Buck," he told him, his heart breaking at the information he was being given. Steve had read the file, had read what they had done to his best friend and the guilt only seemed to double. It was why he had looked as hard as he did to find him. The last thing he wanted was for HYDRA to get their hands on him, to turn him back into the weapon he used to be. "And I’m not about to lose you, either. We’ve been though so much and I won’t let anyone take you now that I’ve found you again. You just need to trust me, trust that I’ll have your back like you’ll have mine." That was what it boiled down to – the lack of trust from Bucky. He would always have his best friend’s back. No matter what. And he hoped that Bucky would always have his back. If they couldn’t even agree to that? This mission of theirs was going to fail long before they actually got to their target.

As Bucky returned to explaining just what their target was up to, he felt his heart plummet into his stomach. They’d – the samples – all of it was far too much for him to take in. “SHIELD kept blood samples when I went on a mission, they wanted to make certain there was nothing wrong with the serum,” he explained, knowing that if anyone got hold of them that they could probably recreate the serum. Or they could piece together a bastardised form of it. Either way, they couldn’t let them recreate the super soldier program. “It doesn’t matter who has it or who is funding the man. We need to get it back, Buck. We can’t let them recreate the super soldier program. Or let them use it to create something worse.” Though he was having trouble figuring out just what could be worse. Making another soldier like himself or like Bucky wasn’t an option. They needed to destroy the samples and make certain no one could use them.

"No, if he’s smart he will keep it hidden where no one could find it," he said, reading over the information on the screen in front of him. But where? The facility on the screen was more than likely a cover, a diversion for anyone who went looking. They needed to dig further into the man’s past, his holdings and see if anything stood out. "First we need to find the place he’s holding it. I bet there’s something in his past that will give it away. After that we need intel – who he’s selling it to. And then we can take then whole damn thing down and destroy any samples of blood they have." It wasn’t the best of plans but it was the only thing they could do given the fact it was just the two of them. If they went in guns blazing as Bucky suggested, Steve knew they’d end up dead. Or worse. So they needed to be careful, needed to use their strengths which was gathering intel and putting together a proper plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Bucky's POV:_

A distraught tic twitched the corner of Bucky’s mouth briefly, his expression grim in the face of Steve’s words, lips pressing into a firm line. It concerned him how concerned Steve was and in turn it was a cyclical loop that was never-ending. He did want desperately to pick Steve’s brain about things, about life, about the years since he’d woken up, about the years before he’d been frozen even, but his apprehension and attempts to grow more stable with the modern world and free from HYDRA’s control prevented him from making that hesitant first step. He knew he could trust Steve with his life, the man had proven it every time he’d had the chance to take Bucky down at his most vulnerable and instead protected and shielded him from a fate worse than death. 

He owed Steve that much, and with this threat brewing under the horizon, he wasn’t sure how much time they’d have before it was all mission and tasking and not stopping to breathe until the threat was dealt with. He fidgeted with his sudden surge of paranoia, the clock inside his head ticking again, though this time for something different, not the usual counting until he was due back into base for debriefing, or until a mission was complete, but this time on how  _much_  time he had left peacefully with Steve. He could plainly see now the years he’d let slip through his fingers while he was busy being a mindless drone of HYDRA’s, even well after their demise of control over him, he was still grasping at how to function again, even that was time wasted on reconnecting to the most important person in his world. 

A soft mournful sound began to build in his throat however it was cut off as sharply as if it was an ant marching line invading a kitchen pantry. While he must hold onto the importance of his best friend, he also mustn’t forget the urgency and importance of the current dilemma at hand. Or the fact that Steve was talking to him.  _Shit._

Snapping his attention back to the blond smoothly as if he’d never zoned out into his own mental battles, he nodded along with him. Realizing a moment too late he’d nodded to Steve warning him not to tempt him in clocking the brunet like he’d offered. Pausing for a moment to blink at Steve he nodded his head again, “I mean it though Steve, feel free to hit me, I’ve been an ass, I know that now, and I know how precious time is now..”  _more like he just finished realizing that fact not thirty seconds prior._   ”I guess… I guess it’s more that, I  _want_  to be able to let you in and trust you, I just don’t remember how so well…” he frowned a little in helpless abandon. “I need you to teach me again…” he murmured. “I remember you when you were little, and I remember our bond and how close it was,” he offered the hopeful memory up of happier times when the world wasn’t trying to put both their heads on a pike. “You’ve always been a shield, even when you were smaller and really shouldn’t have been since someone could have cracked you in half,” he added with a rueful smile and another scratch at the metal arm.

"I was always your weapon.." his voice had trailed off a little as did his gaze and he swallowed past the sour taste that comment brought up. HYDRA had also made him their weapon, realizing the fundamental need for Bucky to protect something. They just had to spend time switching out the  _who_ and then they’d have him at their command. His need to protect was so strong, yet in the end that same need helped break through the manipulation they’d put into him when Steve was at his mercy. It made James hate HYDRA even more that they’d corrupted that purity of instinct in him, from protecting Steve everlastingly into protecting  _them_  instead, those vile, corrupt and evil group of people that were ready to throw him away the moment he showed disfavor towards them instead of blind submission.

The sniper nodded though as Steve was emboldened into the directive of this operation. Indeed they had to prevent this serum from being reconstructed. “Would you be disappointed in me if I decided to kill Gregorio for tampering with something that should only belong to you?” There was a bite of venom to his words, and the Winter Soldier didn’t have to lend any of his murderous intent to Bucky’s words as Bucky felt them just as equally. This Gregorio fat-cat had  _stolen_   _ **Steve’s**_  blood and was trying to  _sell_  it to some schmoozy fucks that wanted to hurt Steve with it. Likely HYDRA would win the bid on it and they’d never get rid of the bastards. His anger towards HYDRA and Gregorio was mounting into a cruel light that he wanted to shine on both with equal vigor of his wrath.

"The question though Steve is did Gregorio buy his own hiding place for this crap auction or whatever, or is someone providing it to him as a favor?" He eyed the meager single factory in the image on the screen speculatively. "If one of the groups that are a part of the bunch trying to buy this off of him, that’s going to open up a lot more places to hunt than we first thought." He sighed and dragged his metal hand through his long tresses. "I’ve poured through his financial documents for the past three days and haven’t found any out of the ordinary purchases that might resemble perhaps one of these hiding places or anywhere even out of the country. The guy takes regular flights though to countries in Europe, but he’s always returning the next day or two, which speaks to me like it’s just typical business meetings." He stared at the blond super soldier next to him as if the answer would be printed right on Steve’s forehead. 

Alas, it wasn’t and he let go another sigh, this one of weary fatigue. “Like I said, I’m willing to bet the farm that if he’s indeed selling some mock-up of your blood or it entirely, that HYDRA will be sniffin’ around it like bees to the flower.” He looked back at the screen thoughtfully for a moment and again that grim tic at the corner of his mouth returned but only briefly. “I want to say I remember where a few HYDRA cells are located in the States, but…” he reached up to tap the side of his head while looking at Steve’s baby blues. “I just don’t know what sort of trouble that might mean for me if I dove too far into the Winter Soldier, and if I was even involved in such an operation in locating them.” He exhaled and shifted his weight to his other foot, “However if we can locate a few HYDRA agents, I wonder if they might lead us to or let us in on—if we could sneak a mole in perhaps— to any meet-ups they were having with some big-wig crap technology seller like Gregorio. Maybe infiltrating HYDRA like they have to SHIELD could provide us with a lead on where to hunt.”

He looked back at the computer as if it might turn into a snake and bite him at any moment. “Orrrrr I could spend another three days here attempting to find a needle in a stack of needles on where this bastard is hiding.” He didn’t sound so enthused about  _that_  option however. “At the moment though I think I’m about to drop dead from sleep exhaustion, if you’re interested in spending the night we can work on this in the morning after I’ve had food, sleep and maybe a taste of what this generation calls coffee.” His attempt was light at trying to spark humor, even if it fell a little flat in the face of the current situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Bucky is somewhat adjusted to normal life, however he can't shirk the nagging feelings to protect Steve. Discovered one night by that very person while he's hacking into SHIELD intel, the growing threat he finds will force him to rethink his reclusive tendencies. Can he grow to trust Steve? Will he threaten their history together and remain solitary in this danger that threatens Steve's very life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's gonna be a slow burn type of fic I imagine, angst perhaps, intrigue, typical crime-drama stuff I think lol. Updates happen whenever we reply to one another, this is a fic that takes place on Tumblr between cxpt and myself (winterxghost). I'm not sure yet how many posts will be to a chapter, but I'll figure it out. This might be my first technical post to AO3, so hopefully some of you out there enjoy it as much as we have while writing it. :3

_Steve's POV:_

The offer had been tempting. Actually, the offer had been  _extremely_ tempting and were it not for the fact that it was Bucky, of all people, he wouldn’t have even hesitated. But it was his best friend and that was why he kept churning it over again and again in his head. He’d offered. He’d offered and Steve wanted to if only because Bucky had been an ass. Maybe it would remind him of just whom he was talking to. Maybe it would remind him that he’d been there through  _everything_  up until he lost him in the fall. They were best friends, they were always there for each other and should either of them actually have the gall to talk back, a cuff to the head usually worked wonders. But he hadn’t seen Bucky like this since they were kids. It had him confused as to whether or not he should take the offer he’d been given. He knew he couldn’t just deck Bucky. But he could cuff him upside the head. Just like Bucky used to do to him when they were kids.

Walking over to Bucky he takes his right hand and cuffs his head, shaking his head because that would be the closest he could get to being violent with his best friend. “You’re right; you have been an ass but you should know I can’t just hit you like that,” he explained, the images of the helicarrier popping into his head. Steve hadn’t been able to fight him then and he wouldn’t just come out and deck him. Even if he actually deserved it. “A good cuff to the head was what we did as kids and it worked then. Maybe it’ll work now,” he added, shrugging his shoulder. Hearing him talk about their bond, about how he needed him to teach him how to trust, how to let him in again, it actually broke his heart. Their bond was something he could never forget. It was what he counted on when he met him on the helicarrier. Their bond was the one thing that could break the programming.

Or that was what he thought. He didn’t know if it would or not but what they had was strong and he used it to the best of his ability. Seeing him again Steve had been relieved something he said had made through. But being reminded of their old life only served to remind him of the guilt he still carried around with him. “All you had to do was ask, Buck,” he told him, offering him the smile he used when he tried to convince people he was okay. He knew Bucky would see right through it but it didn’t matter. All his friend had to do was ask and he would have helped him without asking any questions of his own. “You were – are the one person I’d always had. Even when I had nothing I always had you. Some days we were more like brothers than best friends.” And he hoped one day they would return to that – the closeness they had as kids. So much had happened that he didn’t know if they would ever have that bond again. But he was willing to try.

"No, you weren’t. You were  _never_  my weapon,” he told him, resting his hand on the man’s shoulder and tightening his grip. Steve would never, _never_  see him as his weapon. Bucky was his friend, the person he could count on when he needed him, the man who had been by his bed each time he was sick. Never was the man a weapon. Not until he lost him on the train and he fell into the hands of HYDRA. “You were my friend, my _protector_  but never a weapon.  _They_  did that to you,  _they_  turned you into the weapon. You were never that to me.” And it hurt to think that Bucky saw himself as that. Something else that he would have to remind him of, it seemed. While they’d both changed a lot from those days he knew that deep down they were both still the boys who looked for trouble, who spent their winters trying to scrounge around enough food to survive. Deep down they were still the boys from Brooklyn.

Shifting his stance, his eyes returned to the screen behind the other. He should have realized it would only be a matter of time before they stopped trying to recreate the serum from scratch and just went straight for his blood. Not that he thought they’d be able to get it to work. Steve had dug into the files from the SSR and not even their scientists could recreate it from his own blood. “No,” was the only thing he could say, frustration at the situation clearly evident on his face. No one needed to recreate the serum. They should have never made it in the first place. But had they not he wouldn’t be standing there. “I normally wouldn’t condone that but we need to stop them. And if that means killing them? So be it.” Would is words actually shock Bucky? He’d always been so against killing that condoning it now would be against everything he’d stood for in the past. But this was something they had to stop. No matter what.

"I doubt he’d be stupid enough to purchase something in his name. I’d bet someone is either letting him use it as a favour or he’s bought it underneath an assumed name," he threw out, wondering if there was another option out there that neither of them had thought about. Steve would have to sit and comb through the information first before he could give an answer he was comfortable with. But that would mean Bucky giving him some sort of trust and he didn’t think the man would do that. Not yet, at least. "Which two countries? And it most likely wouldn’t look out of the ordinary. He might be using something normal to hide all of his transactions." Wasn’t that what a lot of people did? Hide things in plain sight because no one would actually look for it? HYDRA had, after all. So why not someone like Gregorio? What information he knew about the man was there on the screen. And what Bucky had told him. Something in the information would tell them what they needed.

Looking back over at his friend he could see the lack of sleep etched on his features. It was surprising just how much he was able to rationalize given how exhausted he looked. “We can’t let HYDRA get their hands on it. The SSR couldn’t recreate it with my blood but with their resources I bet HYDRA could,” he pointed out, running a hand through his hair out of frustration. There was no telling just what HYDRA had at the fingertips. For all he knew they could have the ability to recreate the serum from his blood and then the world would truly be in trouble. “You know I won’t let you delve too much into the Soldier on your own, right? You want to try seeing if the information is in your head I’ll be here to make certain you come back and not the Soldier.” It was a risky move but if the information was there in Bucky’s head it was a risk they needed to take. Especially with HYDRA scattered as it was. Anything was better than nothing.

"Last I heard most of their agents scattered," he told him, again shrugging his shoulders. Some had most likely died during the incidents in DC but Nick had told him some had fled and were most likely hiding out in Europe. Steve knew they could find them if they had enough time. But that was the problem – time. They didn’t have a lot of it. Each day that passed meant another day that HYDRA could come close to perfecting a potential serum. "But if we can turn one it might be another way for us to get information. The problem would be finding one that we can turn. Most of them seemed to be strictly loyal to the organisation, though." The first HYDRA agent he ran into, the one he’d dove into the river for, had killed himself instead of talking. Were the ones in this century just the same? Or were they worse? He wasn’t certain but he knew that they had to find out. If they wanted to keep HYDRA from developing another serum.

But all of that could wait until Bucky had gotten some sleep. He’d noticed just how much all of this had taken out of him and sleep would give him a new perspective on things. “Go to sleep, Buck, I’ll stick around and look over what you’ve put together,” he told him, knowing that he wouldn’t get much sleep if any. Another side-effect of being frozen for seventy years; he slept very little or only when his body finally decided it needed rest. “Unless you don’t trust me to look through all your information and then I’ll just sit up and watch the sunrise at some point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D

**Author's Note:**

> Later chapters are getting bigger.
> 
> I'd love it if you followed me on [Tumblr!](http://winterxghost.tumblr.com) :D


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